Liz and Dick (2012)……

“…….”

That was pretty much how I felt as the credits rolled Sunday night after the premiere of “Liz and Dick, the Lifetime dramatization of the tumultuous romance that Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton had during the 1960s.

Like most film fans, I was aghast when it was announced that Lindsay Lohan would be playing Elizabeth Taylor in a biopic. (In all honesty, I’m not the biggest fan of classic Hollywood biographical films, because they don’t seem accurate and draw on all the negatives of that performer.)

As Burton and Taylor's romance begins on the set of "Cleopatra"

As Burton and Taylor’s romance begins on the set of “Cleopatra”

However, many of us seemed to relax and laugh off the film when it was released that the film was made for the small screen, rather than for theaters.

Sitting down Sunday night, I was prepared for a good laugh, thinking the movie would be hilariously bad like camp classics “Susan Slade” (1961) or “Harlow” (1965).

But no. “Liz and Dick” wasn’t bad in a humorous way, it was just bad and unforgivably boring.

The 88 minute movie- two hours with commercials- dragged and seemed as long as Taylor’s three hour epic “Cleopatra” (1963).

The only actor who actually seemed like they were trying in the film was Grant Bowler who played Richard Burton.

Lohan seemed to go through the motions, even not trying to imitate Elizabeth Taylor’s voice. In one scene, Taylor has a temper tantrum and starts throwing things and knocking over tables. Lohan’s efforts were hilariously half-hearted.

Though Lohan’s has received bad publicity over the past several years, many people were saying this was her comeback, and she told new sources that she was excited about the role.

“I’m a huge Elizabeth Taylor fan and I relate to her on a lot of levels,” Lohan said in a Behind the Scenes interview. “Such as living in the public eye and the stress of what other people say about you, whether it’s true or not.”

The odd narrating technique.

The odd narrating technique.

But whatever excitement Lohan may have had for the role didn’t show through at all. On the contrary, she acted like she wanted to be anywhere but there.

Aside from the acting, the writing in the film was horrible.

The film begins with Burton and Taylor sitting in director’s chairs, dressed in black and telling us their story like we are in an interview. This made absolutely no sense to me, and I wasn’t sure why it was necessary.

The first twenty-three minutes involved Taylor and Burton sneaking around like 16-year-olds and having sex.

There were other hilariously odd lines like Taylor shouting “I’m bored! I’m so bored!” in which the viewers replied, “So are we.”

We were just as bored.

We were just as bored.

Other unintentionally hilarious moments were:

-Friend: “You’ve been married four times.” Liz: “Who’s counting?!”

-“I won’t live without you!” Liz shouts as she runs away from the camera like a six-year-old

-Liz having hysterics about her chubby fingers.

-1980s Liz, with Lohan looking more like Joan Collins from Dynasty than Elizabeth Taylor

The most angering part of the film is that Burton and Taylor’s second marriage was barely mentioned. The couple was married from 1964 to 1974 and then remarried again in 1975 to 1976.

Lohan looking like she's on the set of "Dynasty"

Lohan looking like she’s on the set of “Dynasty”

The appeal of Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton’s romance is that they loved each other so passionately that they couldn’t live with or without each other and that did not show through on the screen to me.

In all honesty, in the last 30 minutes of the movie, I was so disgusted and bored, I was barely paying attention. The real entertainment from the film was those live tweeting, making witty remarks and sharing my sentiments.

A few of my favorite tweets from that evening:

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liz and dick

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