Supposedly the world is supposed to end on October 21.  So we can all be ready for this event, I wanted to share the knowledge I’ve learned from the three Mad Max films which showed me exactly what post-apocalyptic life will be like.

Mad Max 2: Road Warrior (1981)

10. Wear leather. I’m not sure why this is necessary, but everyone wears leather in all of the films so it must have a purpose. Besides you look really cool.

9.  Don’t talk much.  In the post apocalyptic world, your enemies will most likely out-weigh your friends, so don’t talk much. In all of Mad Max 2: Road Warrior (1981) , Max only said 16 lines and was still alive by the end of the movie.

8.  Have a dog.  A dog is a better companion than a human when you don’t know who to trust. Plus you can save lots of time and share food, as Max shows when he eats Dinki-Do dog food. (Road Warrior)

7.  Avoid Tina Turner. Tina Turner has great legs and is a fantastic recording artist, but I wouldn’t want her around when the world ended. She wears heavy and expensive chain-mail dresses, tries to be the leader and makes you cage fight when you disagree with her. (Mad Max Beyond the Thunderdome)

6.  When running from maniacs on motorcycles, don’t run down the middle of the road.  Max’s wife and child prove this in Mad Max (1979) that running down the middle of the road from crazed bikers only makes you an easier target.  Though I’m not sure if running in the grass would’ve helped or not.

5. Only do favors in exchange for gas/petrol. “I only came for the gasoline” is said twice by Max (out of his 16 lines) in “Road Warrior.” When resources are slim, don’t do anything for free.

4. Befriend a guy who has a plane or a feral child with a boomerang. Pick your friends wisely, especially if they have something to offer. In Road Warrior, Max makes friends with a man who builds an airplane and can easily escape and a feral child who takes out more bad guys than adults. (Road Warrior)

3. Don’t go on a vacation with your wife and child when your life is in danger. Your best friend was just killed by cop haters and they are after you because you killed their leader. The most logical thing to do is…go on vacation? No. You won’t even be able to relax because they are constantly chasing you and your family, stealing your baby and then running over your wife. Just stay home. (Mad Max 1979)

2. Have a fast car and utilize its speed.  Not only is it fun to drive around in the Interceptor but it comes in handy when chasing down people as well as running away.  You can even make your own:

1.  Avoid large groups of children who think you are a mythical spaceman savior. Things were going pretty well for Max until he was banished from civilization and found by a bunch of ‘lost boy’ like kids. They had water and fed him, but think he is a god who would take them to the pre-apocalyptic world. They also only get him into more trouble when they go out searching for this world and are discovered by…Tina Turner (Thunderdome).

I hope this has thoroughly prepared you for the end of the world this week or in the next 500 years.

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