It’s no secret that the Hollywood Comet loves musicals.
In 2010, I revealed I had seen 400 movie musicals over the course of eight years. Now that number is over 600. To celebrate and share this musical love, here is my weekly feature about musicals.

This week’s musical:
Sailor Beware (1952) – Musical #788

Studio:
Paramount Pictures

Director:
Hal Walker

Starring:
Jerry Lewis, Dean Martin, Corinne Calvet, Marion Marshall, Robert Strauss, Leif Erickson, Don Wilson, Vince Edwards, Skip Homeier, Dan Barton, Mike Mahoney, Mary Treen, Donald MacBride (uncredited), Elaine Stewart (uncredited), James Dean (uncredited)
Herself: Corinne Calvet
Cameo: Betty Hutton

Plot:
Bumbling Melvin Jones (Lewis) and smooth operator Al Crowthers (Martin) both enlist in the U.S. Navy. Shenanigans ensue as Melvin’s shipmates bet that he can kiss actress Corinne Calvet (herself) once they arrive in Hawaii.

Trivia:
• Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis’s fifth film together. The two made 16 films together.
• Working title was “At Sea with the Navy”
• Re-released in 1957 and 1968.
• According to the opening credits: Parts of this motion picture were photographed aboard United States Naval vessels and in Naval shore installations.
• Originally meant to be a sequel to “At War with the Army.”
• James Dean appears in an uncredited role during the boxing scene. He’s the one who points and says about Jerry Lewis, “That guy’s a professional.”
• At the end of the film, the girl running after Dean Martin is supposed to be Betty Hutton but is a stand in, according to Hutton’s autobiography.
• Paramount Pictures had made other zany Navy films with similar plots to SAILOR BEWARE, including True to the Navy (1930), Lady Be Careful (1936) and The Fleet’s In (1942).

Highlights:
• Betty Hutton cameo
• Don Wilson appearing as the radio contest host

Notable Songs:
• “Sailor’s Polka” performed by Dean Martin
• “Today, Tomorrow, Forever” performed by Dean Martin
• “Merci Beaucoup” performed by Corrine Calvet
• “The Old Calliope” performed by Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis

My review:
SAILOR BEWARE (1952) had absolutely no business being nearly 2 hours. At 1 hour and 48 minutes, you will end this movie wanting to do anything — take a run around the block, go shopping, ANYTHING to shake off the irritating antics of Jerry Lewis in this movie.

In an incredibly painful plot, Melvin Jones (Lewis) and Al Crowthers (Martin) both are enlisting in the U.S. Navy. Melvin is allergic to everything, including women, and Al has successfully never been selected for service — though this time both are enlisted. While on leave, Melvin somehow ends up in a kissing contest on television, which wins him a trip to Hawaii. Melvin and Al serve on a submarine, fight a boxing match along the way, somehow end up in Hawaii with the goal of Al kissing actress Corinne Calvet (herself) for a bet.

This sounds like a mishmash of plot events and not an actual plot description, but that’s how this movie felt. A series of connected events that you have to list out to describe this mess.

Sometimes, I feel like movies like SAILOR BEWARE are so annoying, that I feel like I disassociate. There are so many antics that it can be hard to actually dig out the plot. It’s just 1 hour and 48 minutes of Jerry Lewis and his shtick, and when he gets caught outside of a submerging submarine, just buckle up. And just when you think you’re safe when a nice hula dance performance is occurring, here comes Lewis.

The only time I laughed throughout this whole film was when Jerry Lewis was pulling his pants to his armpits during a boxing match and said, “They said no hitting below the belt.”

Thank heavens for Dean Martin who gets to croon a song, but even that’s not enough. Our first song is 30 minutes into this film.

I wasn’t familiar with the female leads in this, probably because Paramount Pictures films can be hard to come by. Marion Marshall is the true female lead, though Corrine Calvet somehow gets higher billing.

One highlight is that we spot Don Wilson hosting a TV show, who you may be familiar with if you enjoy Jack Benny’s radio show. Skip Homeier is also in the cast, but I never spotted him. For James Dean fans, you can spot with one single line during the boxing match scene.

One thing that’s interesting is that Lewis and Martin’s early films could be compared to the early films of Abbott and Costello’s career. Both with military themes, a bit of music, and wild plots. But at least Abbott and Costello are funny.

I apologize to anyone who may be offended by my distain for Jerry Lewis and this film. But I truly hope to never see this one again.

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